Ain't gonna happen.

Although I may take a stab at it when I get back from lunch.

Whenever that might be.

Last night, we celebrated the 4th of July at the Mardi Gras, which was all decked out like a terrorist target with shiny red, white and blue streamers.

Inside, it was more of the same, plus flags and balloons.

We gorged ourselves on barbequed ribs and chicken, spicy BBQ chicken wings, potato salad, coleslaw, onion rings, jalapeno poppers and french fries, plus a rock hard brownie for dessert.

All this for 15 Euro, including one beverage of your choice.

Although, if your choice was beer, there was no choice. Well, you could have Bud in bottles, or Kronenbourg on tap. It seems that Bud was sponsoring this event, and the powers that Bud democratically kicked out all the other beers for the night, American or not.

Except for Kronenbourg, which is the MG's only draft beer. Kronenbourg is French, which is all that really needs to be said. There is a reason the French have such good wine: they've never quite been able to get a handle on this whole beer business.

Kronenbourg is nasty.

I hate Kronenbourg.

Last night, I drank Kronenbourg.

Which really says something about my feelings for Bud. By the way, Bud is only "Bud" in Europe, as the good folks who have been brewing Budweiser Budwar for five hundred years or something sued Annheiser Busch for passing off something yellow in a bottle as beer and possibly driving off potential Budwar consumers.

Can't say I blame them, really.

Although anyone is free to drink all the Bud they want. That's what makes America great, all that freedom of choice.

And last night, I noticed, a lot of people chose Kronenbourg.

We stayed until the Bud DJ showed up, and started playing music even the young, hip bartenders couldn't stand, and the place filled up with models and other members of the young, vacant and beautiful set.

Then we went to the Café Guido, and drank Nastro Azurro under the stars, and people watched and stared at the Castello.