1. Automated teller machines.

2. Agendas.

3. The woman for whom I wrote an agenda, who told me she would give me all the items that she has that need to be dealt with at tomorrow's meeting before she left the country, but failed to do so.

4. Incredibly convoluted automated customer service systems.

5. The idiot who thought it would sound so much nicer to call their telephone call center a "customer care" center instead.

6. Vivaldi.

7. Word processors, especially when used to make tables.

8. Computer printers.

9. Blank A4 paper.

10. The ring tone on our cordless telephone.

11. Crabby people. (This may, possibly, include myself.)

12. Stupid people. (Definitely does not include myself.)

13. Sinuses.

14. Whoever designed the "Designer Kleenex" box in such a way as to make it impossible to extract the first tissue in the box neatly, or without pulling out seven other tissues along with it.

15. People who spend five minutes extracting 1 Euro, 37 cents in change from dinky coin-purses, discover that they only have 81 cents in change, then pay with a 50 Euro note and refuse to use the 50 cent coin they do have because "they might need it later."

16. Dump trucks.

17. Mopeds.

18. People who dial wrong numbers, then act as if it's all your fault.

19. Whingers.

20. Plumbers.

Dilettante: Hello?

Stupid Woman: So-and-so said you know about X.

Dilettante: Excuse me, but who is this?

Stupid Woman: What do you mean? This is Stupid Woman! So-and-so said you know about X.

Dilettante: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I don't know anything about it.

Stupid Woman: But So-and-so said you know about X.

Dilettante: I'm afraid I don't. Have you asked Ms. Smith?

Stupid Woman: So-and-so said you know about X.

Dilettante: But, as I said, I don't. Mrs. Smith might, though. Have you asked her?

Stupid Woman: Why? So-and-so said you know about X.

Dilettante: Well, So-and-so was mistaken. I think Mrs. Smith might, though, so if--

Stupid Woman: So-and-so SAID you KNOW about X.

Dilettante: But I don't. Really. I don't.

Stupid Woman: But So-and-so said you do.

Dilettante: I do not know anything about X. Why don't you try calling Ms. Smith?

Stupid Woman: Why would I want to do that?

Dilettante: Because I think Ms. Smith might know about X.

Stupid Woman: Why can't you just tell me?

Dilettante: Because I know nothing whatsoever about X. Sorry.