It's doing our heads in, all this waiting. Half of me just wants it to be over, no matter what: June 1st is just an all too short week away, don't forget. The other half wants to just hang in there and see what happens. Then the other, other half (I have a big head with no apparent mathematical ability) reminds me that it doesn't matter what I want, or even what Elvis wants: they'll tell us when they tell us, and we'll do what we're told. It's part of the deal, I know, but sometimes it's hard.

I was a bit shell-shocked and frazzled on Monday morning, which my yoga teacher and Yoga Buddy noticed immediately, so I filled them in a little bit on the situation. "Ah," said my yoga teacher in his wisest voice, "being in two places at once. It can be done, but only after many, many years of study, and, even then, it is. . . Difficult."

YB leaned forward and opened his mouth as if to say something, but thought better of it.

I said: "I don't really think that's a viable alternative do you?"

My yoga teacher, bless him, thought about it for a moment before answering that, no, it probably wasn't.

"Never mind, Dilettante," said YB, laughing. "Maybe next year."

"Indeed," said our yoga teacher, "in a few years, it may be possible."

And do you know, I think he was serious. I just hope he doesn't expect any flying visits from me once we've moved on from here.

Difficult, however -- he was certainly right about that.

Whatever happens, though, will be fine. We'll deal with it, just like we always do.

In other news, I got my cellphone back. Hurrah! It took a bit of frustrated telephoning by both myself and a portuguese friend, a trip into Lisbon, and a hefty chunk of time spent waiting in line, but it's home now. The memory had been wiped, of course, and I lost a lot of phone numbers and email addresses, but I have now managed to get all the multimedia and internet and GPRS and whatever other settings correct and functioning, and I've got my preferences and so forth more or less back the way I like them. One minor disappointment, however: my favorite, perfect ringtone no longer seems to be available for download. (The Verve, if you're interested.) I've substituted it with the theme to Sex in the City, which is fun, but is likely to get extremely annoying in a hurry. Plus, it doesn't have that little coda on the end -- just the first note of it -- which is annoying in and of itself. It's a small thing, though, and I'm just glad to have it back.

Among other things, this week I learned that I am incapable of using a spatula left-handed. Actually, I learned that one some time ago, but I am now certain that I shouldn't even try. Hell's bells, Dilettante, if you've gotta do it, use the tongs!

Also, I learned that if you accidentally sort of miss the pan and spray a bit of Fry Light� (like Pam�, but in a pump bottle instead of a spray can) on the floor, you will be slipping and sliding for quite some time. Next time, I'll make sure to hold the pan over the sink.

And that is that for now, it's time for me to get ready to go meet up with Elvis

since I am, in fact, unable to be in two places at once.

Yet.